


Whisper

by Vanta22exual



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, no actual suicide though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 17:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19835350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanta22exual/pseuds/Vanta22exual
Summary: A young Army deals with thoughts about his situation





	Whisper

**Author's Note:**

> This is....really just something for me to vent I guess  
> My headcanon is that Army used to live with abusive and controlling parents and ran away at age 13 to Inkopolis  
> He also used to be called Adrien before he gave himself the name Army

Another day, another failure. Sometimes Adrien wondered why he even continued to struggle. It wasn't like he would ever really amount to anything, he's figured that out long ago. Packing up his Splattershot Jr., the young Inkling slowly trudged out of the lobby tower, eyes cast down, ignoring all the Inklings around him. Compared to them, he was nothing. Small, malnourished, barely old enough to even hold this form. It was no surprise that he couldn't fend for himself in battle. 

It had been about half a year now since he left his home behind. Back then he thought that anything would be better than what his parents had been putting him through. Really, he wasn't wrong, he still much preferred starving on his own terms rather than because his mother decided that he hadn't been acting proper enough that day. Boarding the subway, he kept his eyes firmly downcast, trying to drown out the happy chitter chatter of the Inklings all around them. 

By the time he finally got off, the subway was almost completely empty. It wasn't a surprise, not many people voluntarily traveled to this part of town. For as beautiful of a city Inkopolis was, even it had its dark sides. Slowly heading up the stairs that took him out of the station, the orange inkling looked up for just a moment to scan his surroundings. At the very least there was no one waiting to ambush him this time. He couldn't count the amount of times he had come up just to get mugged by some desperate person. 

The way back to his apartment building had become second nature to him by now, his body working on auto pilot as he passed underneath the street lights, ears flicking with every little sound. The Inklings that lived in this part of town usually were the kind that were banned from turf, the ones barely keeping themselves afloat by other, often illegal, means. Or, well, they were like him, failures that couldn't even make enough to afford anything other than rent. 

By the time he reached the building, Adrien was slowly untensing, the events of today replaying in his mind. With a barely functioning Splattershot Jr. and gear that was anything but optimal for turfing, it was no surprise he got splatted constantly. People had thrown him out of lobbies or simply left in disgust after playing just one match with him. Still, he preferred these kinds of reactions over more...aggressive ones. It was more than once that some particularly ticked off team mates had waited for him to head back home just to leave him broken and bruised in one of the many alleyways. Those kinds of days were the worst. Compared to that, today was relatively uneventful. 

Slowly trudging up the stairs, he ignored the sound of a bottle shattering followed by a loud argument between two particularly nasty neighbors. It was normal to him, if anything, he would have been unnerved if he had been greeted by silence instead. 

Soon enough, he reached the door to his apartment. Living on the top floor, at the very least climbing the stairs kept him in shape. Unlocking the door, he stepped in, sighing as he closed the door behind him. It wasn't until his stomach gave a loud and obvious protest that he finally decided to deal with his next problem. He'd have to check if he even had anything left to eat. The money he made from his constant losses was usually just barely enough to pay his rent and keep him afloat, although this month hadn't been very kind to him. 

Putting his weapon onto the table in the living room as he passed through, he headed into the kitchen, ignoring a sea spider quickly scurrying away at his feet. What greeted him was the same as always. Yellowed walls and the smell of mold, and, not to mention, empty cupboards. Right, he had eaten his last cup noodles yesterday, hadn't he? Ignoring another obvious grumble from his stomach, he turned around with a sigh, glancing around his living room before stepping up to his window. 

Without much hesitation, he opened it before hopping onto the windowstill, and moments later, he had leaned outside before making a grab for the ladder that lead up to the roof. Exactly why it was there, he didn't know. He still remembered discovering it the first time, too afraid of leaning out too far and falling. Although by now, he was so practiced with it that falling hardly was an option, not that he would mind even if he did, it would be welcome at this point.

Once he climbed to the roof, he sat on the edge, legs dangling as he looked out over the city. Even from where he lived, he could see the lobby tower, lit up brightly. He still remembered the first time he saw it, having just arrived in Inkopolis, scared, alone, but hopeful, thinking that this would finally allow him a better life than what he had previously. 

How naive he was. If he had known then how things would turn out, he perhaps would have thrown himself off that very same lobby tower right then and there. The idea still occasionally occured to him, simply letting himself fall, becoming just another blotch of ink to decorate the sidewalks. Then again, everytime he actually had the chance to, he simply...didn't. 

Adrien really wasn't sure why, what reason did he have to still be around? He was a failure, everything he did seemed to be wrong. He couldn't do right in his parents eyes, he couldn't do right in the eyes of the other Inklings, hell, he couldn't even do right by himself. He was useless, a burden to everyone that had the misfortune of knowing him. Not that many people did. He was dead to his parents, and ever since he arrived in Inkopolis, he hadn't made any friends. Would anyone even notice if he suddenly disappeared? He doubted it. 

Still lost in thought, his hazy eyes peered over the city he used to idolize so much. He still did, in a way. Inkopolis had always been a city for people that loved to chase their dreams, anyone could become famous if the worked hard enough, if they struggled and become good at what they loved. 

But what did that mean for him? Was he not trying hard enough? Has he not struggled enough yet? Perhaps his place simply wasn't in this city. Perhaps it wasn't anywhere. Maybe the mere fact that he existed was a mistake. Pulling his knees to his chest, he rested his chin atop of them, watching the lights flicker in the distance. He really thought he could make it, he really thought that once he got here, things would be better. He would become good at turfing, he would raise his rank and become one of the best. He would make friends and live the life he always wanted without anyone else telling him how he had to act and what he had to be. He would decide everything for himself. 

And yet, here he was, just as miserable, only that it was all his own fault. Bruises still covered his skin, his form still as small and malnourished as always, except there was no one to blame but himself. Perhaps his parents were right after all. Perhaps he really just didn't deserve any better than this. But if this was all that he was going to ever get, was it really worth suffering through? 

Once again, his eyes drifted downwards, peering over the edge of the building he sat on. If he let himself fall, it wouldn't take him long to make impact with the ground below. With one great splat, it would all be over. No respawner to save him, no one to mourn his death, no more suffering. The idea seemed so tempting, to simply let himself soar for a few, beautiful seconds before ending it all. 

However, just like always, he found himself freezing, that small, horrible voice whispering in the back of his head that he shouldn't do it, that he still had a chance to make things better. He was inclined to simply ignore it, to drown it out and instead listen to the sweet whispers that were enticing him to leap. But it was annoyingly insistent, preventing him from doing what he longed to do, instead urging him to climb back into his apartment and prepare for another day. 

Was it really worth listening to? Why couldn't he just ignore it like he wanted to? Why was he listening to it in the first place? Perhaps it was to punish himself, considering he knew he was a mistake, that he shouldn't exist. Torturing himself to appease whoever thought he needed punishment so that once his body finally did give out, he may be allowed to finally rest. 

He found himself slowly climbing back into his apartment, ignoring the call of the void urging him to let go of the ladder to simply let himself fall. As tempting as it was, he knew that he couldn't do it. He hadn't suffered enough quite yet. 

Hopping back into his living room through the window, Adrien looked around before moving to get comfortable on the few piled up blankets he called his bed. Perhaps he should drop by the weapon shop tomorrow, the owner always seemed nice enough, perhaps he could give him a tip on how to fix his broken Splattershot Jr. Not to mention, while he was at it, perhaps he could take a small trip through the clothing stores, last time he had seen a beret that caught his attention, while technically out of his price range, perhaps he could skip eating a few more days just to finally have an actual piece of headgear, instead of pretending to be wearing contacts that he did not have. 

With that thought, Adrien slowly drifted off to a dreamless sleep.


End file.
